Bigotry et Ignorance, Men Who Knit

My name is Andres , I usually go by Andy or Crafty Andy. You would be surprised if I told you that I am very shy, yet my desire et interest to meet people and learn about other cultures brought me out of my hometown to this City by the Bay in the search of Freedom and Equality, mind you I was not uncomfortable where I was, but I knew I could be more at ease here by the bay. In my 20 something years of living in San Francisco I learned to love who I AM and to be comfortable no matter where I live or go.
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I will tell you that in my search for socializing with other people, mainly men, it was nice to know that there was a place of meeting other men who knit even if it was in cyberspace. Women who knit are easy to find, just go to the local yarn store. It is nice to revive old traditions of gathering in a circle and share stories and do something creative together, something not aggressive and positive and not competitive. When I compete I compete with myself, even though we can be competitive at times, it is nice to hang out and just enjoy each other's company, getting to know the person. Here I found MEN WHO KNIT and Women who support them, without judgements about who we are, what we do for a living, wether we are young, old, tall, short, skinny, not so skinny, and so on and so on.
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So I found myself lucky to find such a great place of Men Who Knit and to consider myself lucky to be here, we have laughed, we have cried, we have gotten angry and the we have made up. We are here together toward a common purpose, to promote Knitting Among Men and those who Identify with us, in a Positive, Non-Competitive, Non-Aggressive Way. Thanks for being part of our community all of you and Darrel for having the vision and foresight. The Fellowship of the Golden Needles is here!
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By the way I don't know if Russel knits or doesn't, but he is secure enough to be able to take this picture, how can two sticks and some thread make him look like anything else but Himself? Here you have some excerpts in Italics of the 54 Y old South Carolina Man's Posting and I quote

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"How do I start? It seems funny to me that when I knit in pubic how often I’m misunderstood. I was at a local meeting group ‘Calling all Knitters’ one Saturday, I’m the only man, when a foursome sat at the table next to us. Within minutes I heard the muted talking that suggests that they’re talking about you, you know, voices lowered even lower than they need be, because the acoustics in a Hardees isn’t that good anyway?Raucous laughter followed with an overtly loud, “I just can’t get over it, it looks so funny.” I hoped the “it” was my knitting and not me. I looked over, and made eye contact with the speaker. I nodded my head in greeting."
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Now do you go to Hardees to eat and drink or do you go to knit, none of my business to start with, but this is in my opinion a bogus story from an insecure straight man which I believe is a closet case or at least very insecure about being a masculine guy and I told him so in my response! How did he know they were talking about him or not, they were sitting beside him, maybe they were talking in a foreign language too? I think the story is made up just to put his opinion across, what an insecure man.
* "The laughter dying down, continued off and on for a few minutes; I kept on knitting, listening more to the ladies talk in our circle about this pattern or that, what charity things were being knitted for whom, and so on. Then I heard from the table again; “you know, you kind of get used to it after a while.” I smiled inwardly, as I’ve noticed time and time again that that is the general pattern of acceptance."
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I married man intimidated by women taking about him, sounds paranoid and far fetched to me, specially if he was accompanied bu other females. Women are very defensive of their male knit companions, that I have learned.
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"I’m hoping to find the same thing here. For some time, I’ve looked for a man’s knitting group, one which wasn’t overtly gay. Not because I don’t like gays; but because I don’t care much for the talk that comes naturally out of a gay community. Things like “partner” or wife followed by the pronoun, “he”. or talk about showing off a finished work, a knitted willie warmer, by having one’s better half model it. I can honestly say that of the four local knitting groups I go to, ninety-nine percent women, it’s the kind of talk I’ve never heard, and yet I find it here within minutes of reading blogs."

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In his first posting he put his foot so far up his bum that the toes were making him stutter. If I join a group of Chinese knitters, maybe I can ask them to not be so overtly Chinese? Or women not to be so effeminate, or maybe some Caucasians not to be so Caucasian? The Gay and the LGBT Community is so diverse and complex, people have no idea, there is no such thing as the stereotypical type, there are many types , many enough that you will need a reference guide lol! How does that sound to you?

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I don’t know where I’m going with this; but, I guess I’ll discover if I belong here or not, we’ll see. I personally am trying to prove to the world that not all knitters are effeminate. A side effect from the historical transfer of knitting to women and its general abandonment by men. I guess I’m just asking for a little decorum; or not. You see, I do believe that everyone here has the right to freedom of speech; and perhaps I’m the one who doesn’t belong here.
I would like to hear from others on this…. the real subject is “decorum”.

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Well let me tell you most guys went insane, straight, gay and just the guys, people from all over the world commented. I told him that he looked very effeminate to me . His eyebrows look plucked and I told him so, plucked well formed eyebrows on an older man look effeminate, even on a young guy. Yet I know effeminate men and masculine me, and then there are plain men, and that has nothing to do with being gay or straight for that matter. Why do people have to sexually a craft? A lot of people told him that he could leave at any time or stay and learn something different. So far he has stayed, one thing is for sure the self righteous picture he had of himself is no the same he came with. I think he is a closet case. There are countries were same sex marriages are allowed, what are you the reader and him for that matter do when you go and visit and see two men exchanging marriage vows in a foreign country,like Spain, Canada, And so on ? The likelihood is that he may stay in his little corner of his small world. I will not tolerate bigotry against anyone no matter what. This is the 21 st Century and there is a LGBT Community Worldwide fighting for the right to love and be equal!

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This is a long post, not as long as I want it, but shorter than expected, please don't judge people for their sexual orientation, gender, age, disability, slim or not so slim, tall, short, for their religion, political affiliation or gender or crafts they do, don't judge a Knitter or Crocheter because of the Yarn they Use, I apologize for the length, Silence = Death. Thanks for stopping by!

Don't take it for granted

I am sharing this with you because it is something that it amazes me in life. This is the second time in my life that someone in San Francisco tries to physically hurt me without incidence.



I was coming out of the Safeway Supermarket with my grocery bag, on Church and Market in San Francisco and this young man hits me over the head hard. It was very clear that it was a homeless unclean person. He was Caucasian, in his mid twenties to early thirties. My crochet Hat took the blunt of the hit. I confronted him. Why did you hit me? I said. He responded that I was to learn not to mess with him when he was upset. Was wrong with you dunce, bleep, bleep, bleep, I lost it. I called him every name in the book, politically correct and politically incorrect. If you ever wondered how bad a sailor can swear you should have been there. I did follow him around for at least two blocks calling him names, he will then come toward me and we were playing cat and mouse. In the meantime I call the police and described him to them, as he got into Street Car 1059. I told the 911 operator and if the catch him they can call me I will identify the bastard and hope he rots in jail. He was lucky I did not find a metal pipe or anything like that , because I was looking for one and he was not going to go out walking like he did. I told him that I will remember his face and that next time I will be ready for his bleep bleep . I will.

About 20 years ago while I was walking accross Market and 7th street. It was a warm Winter nite and I had my dawn jacket in my hand. I hada firm grip by the chain that I usually hang it from. To make a long story short. This guy (dark skin) came toward me and grabbed my jacket while saying to me "What are you doing with my Jacket". He was robbing me, stealing my jacket in the middle of the intersection. It was not going to happen, As he was pulliung the Jacket I swept him off his feet, and started to run , he followed me, and noone stopped. I saw the subway entrance and headed down the stairs. meanwhile he was yelling to be careful and not hurt myself, as I went toward the toll booth where the police were, he realized that he was into a lot more trouble than he bargained. There was cursing, yelling and running, maybe stupid, but I came home with my jacket and my life intact. Nobody bullies me.

In the meantime be aware of your surroundings. Do not allow people to fool you. He was lucky I usually carry my size 13 metal needles with me in that specific bag. For some reason I took them out today. I am fine now.

It is true that Anger makes you do foolish things, but I felt helpless and frustrated, I really wanted to hit him back! One thing is for sure he will think twice before hitting somebody else again. Namaste. All is well in my world now!

UPDATE August 08.07

Well today I looked for him from far away and there he was, sitting down minding his own business and I called the police. The police dealt with him. He did not remember me, but "I remember you" I said. He was told to move on or face going to jail for vagrancy, he moved on. In a way I feel vindicated . I had the last laugh!



Thanks for stopping by!

I felt like the way it Felt

I got this magazine yesterday and I have embarked in some reading for the weekend. I may do some felting next week. Interweave Felt Special edition is a great read and it has plenty of projects and ideas. I just made a 2 Year subscription to the Interweave Knits, from Interweave Press. I liked the magazine and it is better to get a two year subscription, you save some money.

As you know I have been buying Hand Dyed Wool Yarn from Ebay. The store name is http://stores.ebay.com/forestgreener06 and the yarn is good for felting in my opinion. Some of the colors are not exactly as shown, so pick carefully. Still all the wool I gotten there is of great quality. The guy Ships fast and always has something for sale. It was worth my try and I will be buying from him in the future.

I have some works in progress as you know, and the green hat got frogged and recasted again with one more inch of stitches for a more comfortable fit. Sometimes in knitting or crocheting you have to frog an item, ( frogging = rip it rip it rip it) lol! Talking about frogs, in Men Who Knit group at http://menwhoknit.com this guy sends me an email telling me that my knitting is twisted. I go along for a couple of emails as I was surprised that someone will tell me the right and wrong way of knitting. Little did he know that I would post his commanding email on the boards for everyone to see and then others united in My Collective to rebel against this assimilation. He had sent similar emails to other people. The odasity of this jerk,little did he know that I am Bajoran and that I walk with the Prophets. It was Kai Winn dressed in Drag ha ha ha! It was by all means The Holy Knitting Inquisition. Maybe we belonged to the Borg Collective and was looking for the ilussive Perfection of the Omega Molecule or was from the Omega Directive of Starfleet to go and boldly perform random acts of unsolicited advice throughout the galaxy. I told him , eventually, that he should mind his own business and to stop telling me what to do. Who elected him the Borg Queen? Was resistance Futile? I don't think so! Thanks for stopping by.

An internet Bully , His name is Matt

I write this on 06/13/2007. His name is Matt . He is from New Hampshire. He will not stop, he will use different names, but don't be fooled. I have tried so hard to not allow him in my group at msn. He continues to apply and disguises himself. An Internet bully is a low life being that hides behind an email address or a nickname and acts in a cowardly way. It has taken me around 6 months to decide to report this in my blog, because if someone googles his email or his MSN Nickname they will find what kind of trouble he is. He wants you to feel sorry for him, but don't be fooled, you will feel sorry about letting him in., He is a coward and has been very mean to a lot of people. Mean people Suck...! He is an embarrassment to the Gay community, an embarrassment to the Crochet and Knit community. He will definitely go to Gre'Thor!


This guy is trouble in any group that you have, he comes from MSN,and it is in MSN that he is causing problems. As far as I know he causes no problems in yahoo.

76.19.53.118 this is his latest IP Address if you show full headers on the email application it will tell you the originating email IP. He tried to report me to msn and then I turned it against him ,because his last email as Matt and as Theo Lost were from the same IP Address. Busted

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Someone said that it was breaking privacy laws, the fact that I published his emails addresses. I do not think so. Why does he wants to join a group with multiple ids? Is he trying to do something? Email addresses are public domain and you can get them easily, specially from hotmail. Everything can be bought in life, but Love. Even you, who visited my page, I know the IP Address from which you enter. Do you think it is Useless? Who knows if that is his real name, but at least is the one he uses most. I am sure the Great State of New Hampshire is big enough to have at least 10,000 Matt, Matthew or whatever ,if that is his real name. The IP is real and I go for that. How do you think that they track Children Predators? In my opinion that pataq'h falls in the same category, a troll and an Internet stalker. By IP ADDRESS!!!!! I don't think so, besides I can assure you that Matt Does not go to the Library, he is a classless lowlife pataq'h. This was the only way I had of really making a difference, as you can attest by the comments, I am not alone. Life will make its karmic imprint on him some day!

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All these are his MSN Nicknames. Well he disguises himself as women and as other people and disrupts your groups. Well if you do not have message approval on your group, turn it on. I think that the approach to this bullying has to be approached from a different perspecitvie. You can not keep them out forever, but when you allowed them in you can monitor their messages forever. Yahoo provides such a tool and MSN does as well, with this tool you can have a member on moderated status forever. This is the solution in my opinion!

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So if you feel like giving this person an opportunity go ahead, but moderate his messages all the time. Is the only way for him to behave. Thanks for all the suggestions to my inbox and all the group managers who have contacted me.

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I managed to keep him out by being diligent and creating a questionaire and a rule for the group. If your applicant does not have an active Blog, they will not be approved. He will not give up. What he can not do is have a blog for each of his personalities.

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_Justin1Ruben1_
AllThe0therz
CKTV4EVR
Crochet4Knitting
MattMarkAnt

Cronky13
MM--AP
Mark13Anthony13

m_m_a_p7 (Yahoo ID)

Winnie1Pooh1 (MSN )

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His email addresses are

crochetknitting4groups@hotmail.com
the0thersrl0st@hotmail.com
Bidalot2win@hotmail.com
Justin2Ruben1@hotmail.com

cronitelly13@msn.com ****New ID as of June 21, 2007

junglegrrrrrl@hotmail.com New as of 08/26/2007

winniepoohbare@hotmail.com New as of Sep 14, 2007

If you have the ability to see the Originating IP address of the email you can do a seacrh here at this site http://whatismyipaddress.com/staticpages/index.php/lookup-ip

Last IP Address 71.232.187.150 as of 08/26/07, 09/14/2007

This is from an email he continues to send to people will he ever stop?

"From: "Matthew Provencher" cronitelly13@msn.com

Subject: GOODBYE!

Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2007 13:00:26 -0400

By midnight tonight, June 30, 2007, I will have deleted all email and contacts from this address, and will stop accessing it. Any mail received here after midnight tonight will be filtered as junk and deleted w/o reaching me, EVER! I've tried several times throughout the month to re-establish contact and a possible friendship with you, but you have not replied to any messages."

WE CAN ONLY HOPE!

Update 08/30/07

I have committed myself of exposing this guy for who he is. He will keep on trying to get into everyone's group, just because he is mean and wants to be an arse. If you let him join to ease him and moderate him, he will try to get in with a diffenrent name, but the same attitude lol! He is so crystal clear in his application, and he has a problem, he can not avoid being Matt, sooner or later he will reveal himself. Remember don't answer his email asking you why is so difficult to get into your group, he will report you as spamming. Ignore him , he can't stand that, but will quit eventually. I just block his emails.

Today this is what he wrote on Sept 14, 2007 after I did an IP search and it was the same Ip as the Junglegrrrrl

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Update 09/14/07

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"What does where I'm from have to do with anything? Do you have a problem with NH or something? Where are you from? Don't you have a busy enough life to not bother looking to find out where every email comes from? Pathetic, and rather invasive IMHO. Thanks for accepting me and banning me immediately. Why don't you get off the internet you sick weirdo? BTW, I looked up your blog when I got your email. You're fuXXXXg ugly dude."

It is you who is UGLY in the SOUL Matt!

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These Links to help you with Newbies:

You need to belong to this group to use this

http://www.msnusers.com/ChatCentralGateway/Documents/Utilities/Profiler.html

Great Resource

http://www.google.com/

This is where you can get information on IP Addresses very accurate, people think they are anonymous , think again, it can pnpoint your address very accurately.

http://whatismyipaddress.com/staticpages/index.php/lookup-ip

Internet fraud by IPS Incorporated Fraud Alert

Well I am doing this in a public way , because I found at least four people that have been hit with this. The headline was "Credit Card Fraud.. How could it happen? What can I do?"

The charge was for $9.85, and was from IPS 1-800-431-7428 CA,. I have read that people got it from this one and another one as well from IPS San Bruno Ca few days later. I did call this number, and no matter when you call the number, you get forwarded to the voicemail of IPS Incorporated, I did not leave a message. ( I called on many ocassions after the fact.)

The same day I immediately call my bank and reported the transaction as a fraud and my credit card as stolen. Somebody stole my Credit Card number or got it from somewhere, the fact is that I do not use that Credit Card at all and that transaction was a fraudulent transaction, I got the Credit Card Blocked and replaced by a new one.

Help take a bite out of Crime! Photo Courtesy of http://www.mcgruff.org/

If you get this charge I guarantee you 100% it is fraud and you should report it as Fraud. Don't waste your time calling the number, tell your Bank or Credit Card company that you have called them and you get an answering service. Believe me that's what you get. You need your card closed and replaced immediately.

Thanks for stopping by.

The gym is a serious business!

Hello everyone and don't worry I will have some pictures and more blog entries later on this week. Well maybe next week, but sometime soon.

I have been having this Gym issue for the longest of time and as a good Taurus, it takes me a little time to get my thoughts together as to not offend anyone. This posting is to vent and inform.

I go to a Gym, name withheld , and I am amazed at the things that I am a witness to. I think that people believe that because they pay for a membership they have the right to own the place, to be rude and to not clean after themselves. Some people actually have a routine and God forbid that you interrupt the routine because you happened to be there a little early that day. Please choose a comfortable and clean outfit for the gym and for Pete's sake leave something to the imagination, sometimes your clothes are just too innapropriate.

Now I have what I believe is important do s and don't s for the Gym.


1. Don't spend more than 30 minutes at the cardio machines, specially when other people are waiting.

2. Don't throw your clothes on the floor, you know, close to the equipment or machine you will be working on. Do you know how many germs are on the floor? If you do, don't wipe your face with that!

3. When you get done using a machine clean your sweat off the machine.

4. When someone says no I don't want to work out with you, don't take it personal. If you asked then be prepared to hear an answer that you may not like. Don't be a bully! BUllies get memberships cancelled.

5. There is such a thing as innappropriate Gym attire. I.E. if part of your genitals is hanging out, your gym shorts are too short; If your genitals are screaming let me out, your outfit is too tight.

I find that men are more at fault with this than women. In all my years of going to a gym I have seen one woman whose outfit was not appropriate, yet it was not offensive. Your outfit needs to be cleaned after every gym use. I am amazed at people that come with smelly clothes to do their workouts.

You need to wear underwear under your gym attire. If you bend over and I see where your lower back changes name, it is too small for you. If you squat and things fall out you need athletic type underwear. Don't burn your bra just yet, consider the options when you are working out. If you take your time, maybe do some research or ask a trainer, you may get the appropriate gym wear that fits and covers you better. Maybe even enhance your gym performance. Inappropriate gymwear does not help you at all.

6. It is perfectly ok to say Excuse Me, Pardon Me, may I get by you. I find that so many people get so entranced in the music they are listening to, that they forget there are other people around them. I don't get bother by the music, but I do get bothered by people that choose to be inpolite.

7. Don't put your things in a locker without a lock. I have seen so many people that have their stuff stolen, because they leave stuff in an unlocked locker. Think no one will like to steal your old sweater? Think again.

8. You are going to encounter sweat in a gym, deal with it. Don't get yourself all perfumed up and then go to the gym, it does not smell very nice.

9. Please don't come to the gym smelling like cigarettes, it is repulsive, and it is as bad as having someone in a treadmill beside you ,who has bad breath, giving you each of their exhaling stenching breaths your way.

10. Urinals are not for trash or gum. Have a little bit of consideration for those people that come after you and those that clean after you. If you want to get rid of your gum use a trash bin.

11. Basic hygiene, wash your hands after going to the bathroom, cover your mouth when you sneeze. Have a handkerchief handy when you sneeze, don't cover your mouth with your bare hand, then grab the equipment. Basic Stuff!

When you go to the gym and you don't bring a towel to clean your sweat off, you are being inconsiderate toward others. The least you can do is get a handful of paper towels and wipe out the equipment after you use it.

Well enough for today, just wanted to get that off my chest.

We Shall Never Forget Who We Are Sep 11 2006

I Could say so much, yet it would not be enough. Never Again shall this be allowed! May the souls of our brothers and sisters be at peace. May the Cowards tremble from fear and shame for all eternity.

United We Stand!

Joy to the Worlds

Joy to the Worlds, of Budahood that is.

About four years ago I decided to break away from all organized religion. I think that all religions are good as long as you don't personally sacrifice me or any living being in your rituals.

I am not a buddhist, yet I chant, I am not christian yet I see the Christ consciousness, I am not a skeptic, yet I believe in nothingness, I am not a Jew by religion, yet I have a Menorah, I am not a catholic, yet I see the wonders and monstroucities of the church, and not a hindi yet I see the love of life in every being. Pass me the London Broil please!

What I don't see is the needless suffering that some people put themselves through because of the holidays; AND THE NEED TO SPREAD IT AROUND!

Is it about giving? , maybe, Is it about commerce?, maybe, Is it about sharing?, maybe. I think that the most important part of the holidays is what it does mean to you at a personal level. My friend, he is so upset, because his family does not think of him enough, because they give him a gift certificate, because they don't appreciate his gifts. I told him to give me the gifts that are thoughtless and I will spend them or find them a home.

I guess it is because I am puertorrican at heart, we love parties and gifts. Do you know that we celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December, then the Epiphanyon January 6th, twice as many gifts for those fortunate enough. On the Epiphany you get a shoe box and fill it with cut grass, no not that kind of grass, and you put the box under your bed with a bowl of water. It is for the camels, or in puertorrican folklore the horses. In the morning the Kings have left gifts under the bed? Talking about the tooth fairy being a cheapo. LOL. Oh and we don't have a tooth fairy, it is actually a mouse o ratoncito that leaves the money under the pillow. The festivities do not stop there. You will know that there are 8 days following the Kings visitation to the holy child, that people still have parties and drinking, we love the dringking part too, it's called "Las Octavitas" .

When I give a gift, I honestly don't expect a thank you card, not that it is proper you know. In reality giving is about you expressing something. I don't give what I don't want to give, and if I receive something I don't want, I am sure someone else can benefit from what I got. I will never make a sacrifice to buy a gift. So my friend year after year goes in pain, because of this. Finally this year , actually yesterday I told him. I asked? "What do you care about Christmas? Aren't you a Budhist? Well he got upset and told me I was being mean. I said why will a non christian care wether there is even a christmas holiday. My God if at your age you still in that space, then make yourself miserable on your own time or JUST GROW UP!!!!

It's no secret that I do not tolerate self-pity and self-worthlessness issues for too long. I give a gift because I want to give, because it is in my heart to give, sometimes you feel you need to give, but always give with a happy heart. It is nice to receive as well, but I need so little, that a card is enough, a thank you is enough and if I don't get that, maybe, just maybe I will rethink my gift giving to you the next time. LOL.

I was not going to write today, but the many voices in my head were in consortium and allowed me to come up with something to write today. Actually I can not allow it to go without sharing in this season of sharing, it was too important. Just make sure that if you get a gift certificate that your uncaring family sent you and you don't want it, e-mail me and I will give you my mailing address so that you can send it to me. I will make sure those uncaring people get their monies' worth, and I will be thinking of you while I spend it. NEVER GIVE BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO, BUT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO! I just don't get it and in the meantime why do you want to make everyone share your misery? I guess it goes like if I am not happy nobody should be? Give me a break dude! I have empathy for him, don't get me wrong, but after offering unsolicited advice for 4 holiday seasons, I get tired of him suffering and not following my advice, that was given freely and without asking, but I had too, my mental health depended on it. Don't let anyone steal the wing beneath your wings.

Joy to the World , we are open for business! Peldor Joi!

Puertorrican Plus!!!

I have a confession to make, I am a puertorrican since birth. It is not a well known fact that puertorricans have been american citizens for about 100 years, the Jones-Shafroth Act gave the citizenship to puertorricans a long time ago. It is not a secret, but I am more than a puertorrican. In the year 1988 I became HIV +. Having the HIV Virus has been no picnic and, needless to say some people think I deserve it; while others pity me. Some show compassion, some people make the distinction between being HIV as opposed to having AIDS and being puertorrican. I like that, I want to be treated like an individual that has many layers. Being HIV positive is like being human, until now, there is nothing that I can do to change who I am, so I will have to live with who I am and do the best I can everyday for which I have a breath of air. Today I have AIDS.

Puertorrican Plus!!! Blogging my life away, i am getting out some of my secrets in hopes that someone will benefit from what I write. I was sexually abused by my father from the early age of 5 years of age. I remember the first time it happened like it was yesterday. Going forward in life at the age of about 8 my half brother started the same game of abuse; he is 5 years older than me. Did I tell anyone? You bet, I told my mother and she spanked me for fibbing, how dare I say that kind of thing about my brother. Well ladies and gents, my father sexually abused me until the age of 14. My brother sexually abused me until a week before he got married. I thanked the God I believed in. Now I had room to breathe for once in my life. From this moment on, it will be up to my mother to emotionally try to scar me for the rest of my life with fear of God and whatever she could find available. (Yes. I know she was doing the best she knew; that does not mean I had to like it.) Hopefully for me I created a thick skin, independant thinking and, by the age of 37 -- yes 37 years of age -- I realized that I have been operating from the modus operandi of a sexually-abused person. I secretly trusted no one ever since.

A child survivor of sexual abuse has a very difficult life, for it colors everything you do and everything you say until you start to mend the broken boy and become a mending man. Unfortunately, the job is never done; it is a continious work in progress. The book that helped me turn my life around was "Broken Boys Mending Men" by Stephen D. Grubman-Black. At the age of 37, I realized I was still the victim of that sexual abuse from so long ago. I was confused, lost and not knowing who I was, what was mine, or what was the result the abuse actually had on my life.

Why me? It became a constant question. Being an incest/sexual abuse survivor really SUCKS!!! Why did I feel this way? How can I fix this? Who can I trust? I realized I had to take care of my own problems. No one could help me that I trusted but me. Yet, why did it take so long in fixing myself? The only thing I had left was to help myself heal, to pull myself up, like many times before, and look at what was really mine, my accomplishements, my creativity, my loving nature. I stopped the cycle before it went further. No more abuse, the buck stops here. I am free.

I am proud of that. I am sharing this in hopes that someone can benefit from it and in hopes that any child molester will see how the truth eventually will come out. If I allow my anger to take over, I will publish the punishment that I think is fit for this kind of crime, but needless to say, anger does not possess that kind of hold in me any longer. Children are innocent and should be protected from child molesters no matter what gender, sexual orientation or habit they wear. Child molesters come from every walk of life, whether being a heterosexual, homosexual, male, female, priest, president, neighbor. I guess you get the idea.

Life was very different from that day on. I live life without regrets 100%; I have no fear of death. I believe in the law of physics: "For every Action there is a Reaction"

In classical physics, a reaction is defined by Newton's third law that can be formulated like

• Whenever one body exerts force upon a second body, the second body exerts an equal and opposite force upon the first body or also
• For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. One must never forget that these two forces are exerted on different bodies.

The idea that any given force has a pair or opposite force.

That is how this puertorrican plus has learned to view the Universe. When I was younger I had the arrogant concept of an Earth Centered "God" and, by that, I mean that, in our arrogance as humans, we believe that "God" has no other planet to worry about, his constant attention is devoted to Earth, the Blue Marble. I do not limit "God" to that frame, my "God" is incomprehensible by human standards, but it is there. It you say yes, as far as I know, there is no gender in heaven; the importance of gender is an evolutionary necessity for procreation . Anyway it is my personal belief.

Nature always brings peace to me. In nature, I find the hand of the unknown, the Universal Intelligence at work. Here is a picture of me many moons ago near my home town enjoying the
"El Yunque Rainforest"


My father's ancestors came to Puerto Rico in the early 1500's to colonize the island and convert the natives into Christians. What a concept, but I will leave it at that. My mother's family can be traced to when Rodrigo de Nevares set foot on the shores of Arecibo sometime between 1700 and 1708, coming from Spain. I really enjoy this ancestry search, it can get very complicated if you allow it to overwhelm you.

San Juan the capital city of Puerto Rico is almost 500 years old, you can see in this picture taken from one of it's fortresses, the Old San Juan .

I grew up being proud of the city I was from. Lots of culture, art, and history, the main Cathedral in the middle of the island city.

Well this puertorrican plus is about to finish his post for today. It is important to say nobody can take away my innocence anymore, or rob me from being a loving human being. The God I believe in is bigger than any human word, book, or philosophy can describe . My God is the ruler of the whole Universe, not just a selected group of people, like the Sun my God shines on good and not so good people. From California I say to you Namaste.

Legal Drugs Illegal Drugs!!!

I have to write in order to get this off of my chest, because a friend of mine that moved from San Francisco, California, made a comment that he finally escaped from a "third world city," referencing San Francisco. He opined that it was full of "freaks."

I myself am not a freak. It bothered me when he said that to me and a lot of other people in a mass email.

For instance, he considers shopping malls on every corner the sanctuary of modern life and, even though I like shopping malls, I must, nevertheless, disagree vehemently with his point of view; at the same time, I would not call shopping malls or corporations "evil."

One point he omitted on his critique -- on purpose, I believe -- was the fact that his biggest problem in San Francisco was his drug addiction problem. I think this was the biggest problem he had, for he simply couldn't earn enough money to support his drug addiction. He had lost more than one job because of this. He said he stopped doing drugs at one point. I replied, "I hope you did." It is a viscious circle, make more money to take drugs so you can make more money so you can take more drugs. I still love him as he is my best friend and will be there for him if he needs me. Moving to a new city with old problems is your biggest mistake; better leave the baggage in the baggage claim department, and just go with the shirt on your back, man. You will be tempted no matter where you go; just say 'no' to drugs! Otherwise, you will create suffering for you and your loved ones with nobody else to blame this time.

Well, it takes a lot of money to take drugs that are legal, so imagine how much more that illegal drugs cost. Not to mention that it in fact can cause felony charges and a prison term.

Now, let's discuss drugs that are legal. The other day a friend of mine was complaining about side effects from his AIDS Cocktail a.k.a. "Highly Active Anti Retroviral Therapy" ["HAART"]. He is taking medications without getting his Infectious Disease physicians to run two very important serolologic tests called genotype or phenotype, I forget which one it is called, but I related to him that the drugs he was taking are very strong drugs. At least in the San Francisco Area, drugs like Protease Inhibitors, like my friend is taking, are left as the measure of last resource, when AIDS patients run out of options for typically-prescibed AIDS medications called Nucleoside Analog Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors (NARTIs) or (NRTIs) and Non-Nucleoside Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors (NNRTIs), both types of which have a punch all of their own, but with a significantly decreased amount of side effects. Protease Inhibitors in fact do have their place in the treatment of HIV, but without knowing whether you need to take them or not is not a very sharp idea.

Lots of water, vitamins, and sunshine are not enough. HIV+ patients need to know if they can start with a softer HIV medication combination therapy.

Anyway. Thank you for stopping by. I will definitively be more outspoken about everyday life and things I see, hear, and taste. Have you ever had Blue Corn Chips with Hummus? Yum!

Hasta la Vista!