Puertorrican Plus!!! Blogging my life away, i am getting out some of my secrets in hopes that someone will benefit from what I write. I was sexually abused by my father from the early age of 5 years of age. I remember the first time it happened like it was yesterday. Going forward in life at the age of about 8 my half brother started the same game of abuse; he is 5 years older than me. Did I tell anyone? You bet, I told my mother and she spanked me for fibbing, how dare I say that kind of thing about my brother. Well ladies and gents, my father sexually abused me until the age of 14. My brother sexually abused me until a week before he got married. I thanked the God I believed in. Now I had room to breathe for once in my life. From this moment on, it will be up to my mother to emotionally try to scar me for the rest of my life with fear of God and whatever she could find available. (Yes. I know she was doing the best she knew; that does not mean I had to like it.) Hopefully for me I created a thick skin, independant thinking and, by the age of 37 -- yes 37 years of age -- I realized that I have been operating from the modus operandi of a sexually-abused person. I secretly trusted no one ever since.
A child survivor of sexual abuse has a very difficult life, for it colors everything you do and everything you say until you start to mend the broken boy and become a mending man. Unfortunately, the job is never done; it is a continious work in progress. The book that helped me turn my life around was "Broken Boys Mending Men" by Stephen D. Grubman-Black. At the age of 37, I realized I was still the victim of that sexual abuse from so long ago. I was confused, lost and not knowing who I was, what was mine, or what was the result the abuse actually had on my life.
Life was very different from that day on. I live life without regrets 100%; I have no fear of death. I believe in the law of physics: "For every Action there is a Reaction"
- Whenever one body exerts force upon a second body, the second body exerts an equal and opposite force upon the first body or also
- For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. One must never forget that these two forces are exerted on different bodies.
The idea that any given force has a pair or opposite force.That is how this puertorrican plus has learned to view the Universe. When I was younger I had the arrogant concept of an Earth Centered "God" and, by that, I mean that, in our arrogance as humans, we believe that "God" has no other planet to worry about, his constant attention is devoted to Earth, the Blue Marble. I do not limit "God" to that frame, my "God" is incomprehensible by human standards, but it is there. It you say yes, as far as I know, there is no gender in heaven; the importance of gender is an evolutionary necessity for procreation . Anyway it is my personal belief.
Nature always brings peace to me. In nature, I find the hand of the unknown, the Universal Intelligence at work. Here is a picture of me many moons ago near my home town enjoying the
"El Yunque Rainforest"
My father's ancestors came to Puerto Rico in the early 1500's to colonize the island and convert the natives into Christians. What a concept, but I will leave it at that. My mother's family can be traced to when Rodrigo de Nevares set foot on the shores of Arecibo sometime between 1700 and 1708, coming from Spain. I really enjoy this ancestry search, it can get very complicated if you allow it to overwhelm you.
San Juan the capital city of Puerto Rico is almost 500 years old, you can see in this picture taken from one of it's fortresses, the Old San Juan .
I grew up being proud of the city I was from. Lots of culture, art, and history, the main Cathedral in the middle of the island city.
Well this puertorrican plus is about to finish his post for today. It is important to say nobody can take away my innocence anymore, or rob me from being a loving human being. The God I believe in is bigger than any human word, book, or philosophy can describe . My God is the ruler of the whole Universe, not just a selected group of people, like the Sun my God shines on good and not so good people. From California I say to you Namaste.