I am hoping that this blog will help you and me experience the craft of crochet as well as knitting. During times of silence or turmoil, crochet and knitting continuously help me quiet my mind at my own pace, enabling me to find my center. I have patterns for sale in PDF Format, you can find them at their own Pages at the top menu. The posts are classified By labels which are at the far right, all the way down. We are the Borg! I think it will bring Order into Chaos!
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Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Gods of Kobol Have mercy on me! An AIDS Commentary
I guess I can say that with some Cylon-Human-Hybrid blood there may be the end of AIDS. Sadly the Cylons are so far away and our Sister Tribes have not shown up yet.
In recent weeks I went to take a certification training to be able to volunteer more efficiently in my AIDS foundations' activities and groups. What was more amazing is the fact that only 2 people from the group were HIV Pos with Full Blown AIDS. Here is one of the faces of AIDS , mine. Even though I look pretty good, there is a lot behind that looking good. Beauty is such hard work to maintain, but wellness and sanity that's a different story.
It is amazing what you hear when you have lived this long with the disease. It is amazing what you see after so many years of living with HIV or AIDS or any life threatening disease for that matter. I was reading of a very promising cure. Wouldn't that be nice? We can not lose hope, it's a matter of time, maybe we can cure more than one ailment with the same discovery.
In my volunteers groups I see so much pain, including mine. We have so much suffering with AIDS along, we do not need to make our lives miserable as well. When I hear some of my brothers and sisters talking about how they got sick for being promiscous or going around, or for being a bad human being (as they believe) it angers me, because a DISEASE is not a punishment, a disease is not given to a human being to test it's character. What kind of being wiould have in it's mind a plan to teach people by giving them a disease? If I, yes I that am an IMPERFECT BEING would not do that, how can I claim that someone who is above me, someone like a God or Gods will do that. Maybe we can do some kind of sacrifice and atone for our sins. No matter what the Hand of God or the Gods is reaching.
Let me see what is worst in the eyes of the Gods?
What do you think?
a) Invading a Foreign Land and killing people?
b) Killing people because they have a different religious belief?
c) Having same sex marriage?
d) Incest by a father to his children male and female?
e) Verbal abuse?, Emotional abuse?, Physical abuse?
f) Denying people medicine?
g) Spanish Inquisition?
h) Holocaust of Jews?
i) The conquering of the Americas in the name of GOD?
I could go on and on, but you know, it is so SELF CENTERED from us humans to believe that the God or Gods of the Whole Universe (which is so Big and vast that are minds cannot comprehend the vastness of it,) only worries about us and is constantly interfering in our affairs.
Don't take me wrong I belileve in Gods, but not those from the Earth Religions, those God or Gods grant favors depending on conditions and moods. In the meantime we still have to live, have relationships, buy food, rent a house, a car, go to a trip, do your nails, eat chocolate. excercise, love , hate, get upset, laugh and definitely love.
I have seen and known so many people in the AIDS epidemic and their reactions are so different and varied in many ways. Some people are very full of hate and pain. Some people look for someone to blame, and they do find their targets. Some people continue to live and to work for a better world for all of us including those with HIV-AIDS. It is nicier when you put all that effort to find a cure not to blame people. Or put all that effort in helping others to deal with their pain and side effects. Someone once asked if I ever wonder how I got infected, or who infected me. You know that thought maybe occupied a fraction of a second in my brain, what's the point? What will I accomplish by trying to figure out who infected me, where and when!
These days we still struggle with educating people in all areas about AIDS. After 20 something years I found a classmate that lives close to me and she and I were remembering the good old High School days. The conversation went to jobs and retirement by disability and when I said I was disabled with AIDS her response was, "It must have been by a transfusion". What could I say, I said no it was sexually transmitted , I am gay. After a little silence we ended the conversation and I never her from her again. Surprised? Not really, I don't expect everyone I meet to understand HIV, nor do I disclose my status to people. The need to know. Even though I am disclosing my status here online I have never had a problem of disclosing my status to people that matters.
It is amazing how many dates end after the statement I am HIV positive, worst when you have to say I have AIDS. I have never gotten discriminated for being HIV or having AIDS for a date. Personally I rarely date people who are not HIV. Why? Well they just don't have the same perspective, they really don't know what you are going through. One thing I have to say the HIV negative men I have dated have all been great and I am not against mixed pos-neg dating, but they have to be very special and they usually are.
Still dealing with AIDS-HIV is no picnic even with people that know what you are going through. So much emotional baggage, sometimes interrupts your evolution as a person. The first priority that you have as an HIV-AIDS person is your health. We are in a way condemed to take poison for the rest of our lives. We may look good, we may even jump from planes once in a while, but don't let that fool you.
There is a difference between having AIDS and being HIV positive. I have been positive since 1988, and have been diagnosed with AIDS since July 2003 . It is no picnic as I am always very aware as to what I eat, where I eat, what I touch and so on. You really don't want to get extra diseases, parasites and any more exotic names in your health record LOL.
To close I will remind you of a well known fact, Jesus of Nazareth was born a Jew, and he was a practicing Jewish man of a Jewish religion. So if the SON OF GOD was Jewish, why not everyone else adopt that religion? Imagine if it was good enough for the Son Of God, it is good enough for me. I am sure He will recommend it, well not the part of being cricified, but that was the romans anyway. Amen. Hopefully this made you stop and ponder!
Anyway I look forward to the future and meeting the Gods of Kobol, there has to be more than one God, this Universe is too busy for just one. Thanks for stopping by. Namaste. I hope that the God or Gods have in their Master Plan what to do when Space ferrying people that are more advanced than use come to visit us . Hopefully they will have compassion and not take advantage of our weaknesses and enslave the human race. We have enslaved our brothers and sisters, what stops someone who is not related to us at all, not even genetically from using us as raw materials. Stop and think, there is no time like today to be nice and loving and tolerant. Love like never before and live life to the fullest. May the Gods of Kobol have mercy on our souls.